Beside the lake
by don'tblameme33
Summary: Remus loves Sirius. But does Sirius love Remus? Beside the lake, once at midday, once at midnight, two significant events. Two-shot. 'T' for slash and swearing in second part.
1. Chapter 1  Midday

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, Remus and Sirius would have had a love story in the background/past. Remus Lupin *fangirl squee!*

**AN: This will be a two-shot, unless I decide it's better as a story. It doesn't just end like this. **

**Too scared to say I love you**

By the lake at midday

The giant squid was hungry.

At least, Remus thought so. He wasn't used to its movements, the tentacles which came up to the surface restlessly before disappearing, dragging down any debris on the top of the lake with it. He hadn't seen its head yet, but there was an ominous grey shape which would occasionally show, far from the surface, just for a second or two. A bird had landed on the lake recently, a dull white duck with feathers ruffled had tried to rest on the murky green body of water, but a sneaky greyish limb had snatched it up before it had time to cry out. It was unsettling to see, to know that he was close enough to be snatched up by the monster. Remus was scared by the squid that day.

And that was before Sirius had announced that he was going to go swimming.

''Don't, Sirius, please!'' he had cried, not bothering to hide his panic, forgetting who his friend was. The mere thought of scaring his friend lit a fire in his eyes which refused to be put out until he had satisfied it.

''Go on Padfoot! I dare you!'' James was never the sensible one of the group. He was equally excited by the prospect of his shaggy haired friend risking his life for a little fun.

Peter never even tried to stop them. They would never listen to Peter, he knew that all too well.

Sirius pulled his jumper and shirt off, relishing the warmth of the sun on his bare skin. He reached down for his shoes next, slipping his large feet out of them carefully. It seemed that he wasn't wearing socks that day. His well-defined muscles rippled as he straightened up again, catching the sun at odd angles, shining a pale shade of golden. He had a small scar across his chest, a striking white against his warm skin. It was only a thin scar, it would disappear in time. Not like the rather larger scar running along his spine. The one with no story behind it.

And Remus saw it all. Of course he saw it all. He noticed every flaw, every imperfection which ran across the surface of Sirius Black. Ever since last year.

It wasn't entirely clear to him when he'd started seeing his friend that way, but he was pretty sure it was around winter. Technically, it hadn't been last year, it was still 1974, but they were in their fifth year now, starting their OWLs. So much older. And yet he still felt like he was a child.

At some point when Remus had been busy with his thinking, Sirius had taken off his trousers, and was now standing in the middle of the other three of them, shivering, in nothing but a pair of red and yellow underpants. The sun had chosen a fine time to go in.

''Cold, Paddy?'' James asked tauntingly.

''Course not, Prongs. Just testing my muscles,'' Sirius replied in an oddly forced voice. It was ridiculous of him to say that, when all of them could see that he was almost frozen to the spot. Scottish Octobers were like that; one moment hot enough to stay outside in, the next so cold that their winter robes couldn't keep it out.

''Right. Well, I'm going in now.'' The others stared at Sirius. As far as they could tell, he had made no move to go anywhere near the lake. The movements below the surface were getting more frequent now, and Remus was praying secretly in his head, to whatever higher beings were up 'there', for Sirius to change his mind, to put his clothes back on, and they could all laugh about this in the warmth of the common room. Although he did have to admit, it would be okay with him if Sirius chose to not put his clothes back on. Or if he threw every bit of his rather too large wardrobe into the lake for the squid to eat...

_'Snap out of it!' _a voice in the deepest recesses of his mind told him sharply. _'It's never going to happen, and there's no point wasting time on your fantasies. Less time for studying if you do that.' _And he had to admit that the annoying little voice was probably right. In the time it had taken him to summon several of his old daydreams, add new material, and begin to imagine them, Sirius had reached the side of the lake, just a metre from where one lazy tentacle stroked a log which had somehow made it into the water.

The boy at the lake, one of the bravest people that anyone at Hogwarts had ever seen, held himself perfectly straight. His arms reached up high into the air, as he bent his knees slightly in a standard divers pose. He looked back breifly at the others, grinning manically at James and barely noticing Peter. His eyes reached Remus, who smiled shyly at him. Sirius relaxed, and half turned his body towards him. Unfortunately, he had somehow forgotton that he was standing on a rather slippery grey rock, which was hard to grip onto with just his feet. With a yelp, he slid off the rock, and slowly tumbled into the water, crashing into the squid's lone tentacle so hard that Remus thought he might have broken it.

But he hadn't. All that had happened was that the giant squid was now really, _really _mad. And Sirius was in deeper water than he thought. Literally.

He hadn't realised that the water close to the shore was in fact as deep as the rest of the lake. He'd estimated two or three metres at most. Not fifteen.

''Shouldn't we help him?'' Remus asked the others quietly. James was laughing so hard he could barely breathe, while Peter was laughing just because James was. Neither of them were paying attention to the fact that Sirius was actually in trouble. He kept bobbing up to the surface, gasping desperately, before being pulled back down again.

Remus looked from one to the other in disbelief. Sirius was in trouble, he could see that easily. He had already called out twice for help, his lungs beginning to fill with water. And as Sirius was lifted out of the water higher than he had been before, Remus saw what his problem was.

The squid had wrapped on of it's tentacles around his ankle, and was attempting to drag him down to it's own level. Sirius, who had no intention of being eaten at the age of fifteen, clung on to a low lying tree branch as though life depended on it. Which it did.

Remus found his voice at that moment, and it was louder than he thought it would be.

''WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HE'S YOUR FRIEND, AND YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LET HIM DROWN? I'LL HELP IF YOU WON'T!''

With those angry words, he rushed to the edge of the lake, where Sirius was losing his battle to stay out of the squid's mouth. His heart was racing in his chest, and not just from the fear. But it wasn't the time to think about that.

''Sirius? Sirius, can you hear me? I'm going to try to pull you out now.'' His voice was calm, almost soothing, to Sirius. He almost let go. But his instincts kicked in suddenly, and he nodded.

''Okay, I've got hold of your arm now. I'm going to start pulling on the count of three. One...'' He was so calm. How could he be so calm about something like this?

''Two...'' He could feel Sirius's pulse next to his hand. Sirius was scared. Really scared. But he trusted Remus. He could tell.

''Three!'' He pulled sharply, and Sirius cried out. It didn't work, the squid now had an even tighter grip. And the grey eyed boy had tears in his eyes. He wasn't sure, but he got the feeling that the tears weren't entirely to do with the fresh pain in his arm. Or the fear in his heart.

''Well, that didn't work!'' he murmured, more to himself than for the benefit of the drowning boy. ''I'm going to try something else, okay? Could you... could you please move over a little? To the left, I need a clear view of the right.''

Sirius moved as much as he was physically able, which he suspected wasn't very far at all. But it was the best he had. Remus pulled his wand out from the inner pockets of his robes, and pointed it, with a trembling hand, at the vague shape which he presumed was the tentacle which had a hold on Sirius's leg.

''Do you trust me?'' Remus almost whispered, a film of sweat forming on his forehead from fear and longing. Sirius nodded again, weaker this time. He was slowly loosing his strength, and his grip. Behind the two of them, the laughter had stopped. Maybe they knew how serious the situation was. Maybe they had choked to death. Remus didn't really care either way.

Time stood still at that moment. Even the cold breeze stopped tossing leaves around, the ripples on the surface of the lake ceased for a moment to witness the two boys alone by the lake. And Remus raised his wand in this time-which-wasn't-time.

''Diffindo!'' he cried. And the world began to move again. Red ran through the water where Remus had severed the tentacle holding on to Sirius's leg. The bleeding limb thrashed around in the lake, spraying crimson water over both the boys, Remus on the shore, aghast at the damage he had done to a living creature, and Sirius, dragging himself out onto the shore where he would be safe. Remus, seeing Sirius struggling, threw his wand onto the grass behind him, and held out both of his arms to pull the boy out of the water.

''Are you okay?'' Sirius panted, once he was back with his friends on the grass. Remus looked at him bemusedly.

''Shouldn't _I _be the one asking that question?'' he asked hesitantly. They caught each other's eyes and, for a split second, electricity seemed to pass between them. But then Peter coughed, and attention was on him.

''I'm _so _sorry, Sirius! Really, I am! I didn't realise...'' He trailed off, not wanting to say the next words. So James finished it for him.

''We would have saved you if we'd known the squid had hold of you. I swear, Padfoot!'' Sirius looked from James to Peter, tears forming in his eyes. Then he grinned. They both stared at him uncertainly.

''Relax!'' he said loudly. ''It's not like I _actually _drowned, you know. I would have if Remus hadn't saved me, but...'' He turned to Remus, who was shaking, looking as though he were holding back tears, and stretched out an arm to hug the boy.

''It's okay! Really, I'm fine!'' Remus burst into tears.

''I-I-We could hav-have lost...'' He fell into his best friends arms, sobbing his heart out. Sirius drew him close, marvelling at how cold the boy was, when it was he who had fallen into the freezing water.

''Look, you didn't lose me, did you? I'm here! Unless you've figured out how to hug a ghost, which I must say would be pretty impressive, even for you!'' Remus could feel a warm hand stroking his head as the words reached his ears, and was suddenly aware of the fact that Sirius was wearing very little. Very little indeed. And just after he realised that, he noticed that the water was making Sirius's underwear stick to his... his body. And some very private things were showing. And he wasn't the only one to notice.

''Oh, get a room!'' James yelled out suddenly, making the four of them laugh. Sirius lifted Remus off his chest, and stared at him.

''You are okay, aren't you?'' Remus nodded, wiping away the last of his tears as he did so. The four of them were together again. And they were alright.

''You do realise you can see... things,'' Peter commented shyly. ''Don't you?'' Sirius looked down.

''Merlin's pants!'' he cried, reaching for his clothes at the same time.

''Are they? You should get some of your own, you know!''

But which one of them said it, they would never know.

**AN: Reviews? Anyone? Please?**

**If you like this, you could have a look at my other stories. I want to do more Remus/Sirius slash, so I should have some stuff like that in the future. I don't go beyond 'T' though.**


	2. Chapter 2  Midnight

Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter. Ha! I wish.

**AN: Thanks to GDNIGHT and Musicals for the reviews :)**

**Hopefully this chapter's up to scratch. If you've come to this one after reading the first part, thanks. What did you think of it? I didn't like it. I hope this one's better. Enjoy.**

**Beside the lake at midnight.**

''What are you doing?'' Remus hissed as he stepped outside to greet the cool air of the grounds. Beside him, Sirius merely smiled, but it was a whole world away from his normal casual grin. Something seemed... different about the Animagus strolling alongside him, it done ever since his three friends had perfected their transformations just last month.

''You'll see, you'll see,'' he drawled, waving his hands in the air carelessly. Behind them, the heavy oak doors of the main entrance snapped shut, causing Remus's heart to skip a beat. In the delicate silence of the night, any sound was sure to travel far. Yet it appeared nobody was awake, or at least if they were, they heard nothing.

An owl hooted somewhere far away. It was a comforting sound to Remus, it reminded him of when he was younger, before he'd had any of the trouble which had plagued him for his whole life. Being bitten by a werewolf, having to be locked and chained in a little room during the nights of his transformations, the untimely death of his father just before he had been accepted at Hogwarts, _falling in love with his best friend..._

He shivered suddenly, making Sirius stop and turn to him in something like alarm.

''Are you cold?'' he asked worriedly. Remus shook his head.

''I'm fine,'' he replied weakly, feeling his legs going blue. Sirius looked at him shrewdly.

''You don't look fine! Here,'' he said, and grabbed hold of his left hand. He gasped at the heat eminating from Sirius's body, and instinctively edged closer to his best friend, wanting to revel in his warmth.

''Ha! Knew it!'' Sirius pulled off his dressing gown and handed it to Remus, who drew it around his shoulders like a blanket. It was furry inside, the sort of gown which he knew would have cost thousands of Galleons just to borrow. It was a relief for him to wear something to trap some of the body heat he was loosing too quickly. In fact, it was just a relief to be warm for once. He always seemed to be cold, a fact not entirely unnoticed by Sirius.

''Where's _your_ dressing gown?'' he asked, not noticing the emphasis he placed on the word 'your'. Remus looked away, blushing. Sirius realised what that meant, but he wasn't going to mention it yet. They began walking again, Remus keeping up with Sirius's overly-long strides for once.

Above them, the black sky was dotted with specks of glitter. A cool breeze shook a few odd leaves from the trees near them, and ruffled Sirius's unruly hair. Remus had had his hair cut recently, too short now to be affected by the wind. Sirius hadn't liked it, and he was staring at his hair at that moment, lost in the presence of his friend. More than friend. Since the moment beside the lake in the first term of that year, both of them knew that something had changed between them.

Unfortuantely for Sirius, staring at Remus's hair meant that he had no eyes left for the uneven path he was walking on. A large loose rock caught his foot, and he fell with a yelp. But Remus was fast. He wrapped both of his arms around him, and held tight, relishing the feel of skin on thin cloth. They stayed like that for a few seconds, then Sirius reached out to Remus's shoulder to pull himself up. When he was back on his feet, he laughed shortly.

''Seems I always need you around, don't I?'' The tension in his voice weighed on Remus's mind, heavy like something was pressing down on his head hard.

''Don't know what you'd do without me,'' Remus replied in an odd voice. Sirius lauged again.

''Come on,'' he said softly, grabbing hold of Remus's hand. They ran together to the side of the lake, keeping both eyes on the path before them. It made Remus feel so happy and _free_, when he had been so used to hiding all his life. There was something about Sirius that felt _right_.

They came to a smoothly shaped rock, worn away by the touch of many Hogwarts students. Remus sat down heavily on it, followed quickly by Sirius who brought his knees up to his chin and rocked back and forth ever so slightly.

Remus stared out at the lake, wrapping Sirius's dressing gown around himself tighter. He wanted to say something, something special and magical, maybe a brilliantly subtle line from a poem, or some quote that would touch Sirius's heart. But he couldn't say anything. He realised, for the first time in Sirius's company, that he was scared. Very scared. All he could do was stare out at the black lake, listening to the gentle lapping, as the wind pushed it to the shore and let it go again. He was relieved when Sirius finally spoke again.

''Do you remember when you rescued me from the giant squid a few months ago?'' he murmured, looking directly at Remus.

''Cause I do. How could I forget?'' he murmured back, refusing to look at the spot which he knew was a few hundred yards away, the spot where he had almost lost... No, he didn't even want to think about it.

''I could have died, you know.'' Finally, Remus turned to stare him straight in the face. He couldn't bring himself to look into his eyes though, instead choosing to focus on the tip of his pefectly formed nose.

''I know.'' That was it. Any more, and the tears would come. He could already feel them tugging at the corners of his eyes, demanding to feel the air and fall into his lap.

Sirius paused, in a manner which he only did when he was thinking about something. Hard. Eventually, thankfully, he found some words. They weren't perfect, but they were pretty close.

''I'm... Thank you. I'm really... grateful. For...''

''It's okay. It was nothing. Really.'' For once, Sirius was struggling to talk. Remus had to presume what he was going to say, and it seemed that he had presumed right. Still, Sirius gave a growl of discontent.

''It _was _something. Really, it was. And I think...'' Again, he had to pause and think of something to say. Remus began to whistle gently, letting the wind carry his tune far away across the lake. He didn't know the name of the tune, but it was quiet, and comforting to him, reminding him of a time long before, when the pains of his life were distant and he wasn't alone.

''Oh, fuck it!''

''Sirius!'' He was shocked by the amount of aggression Sirius held in his voice, forceful and loud, unlike anything he'd every heard before.

''Sorry.'' Sirius let go of his legs, took hold of both his hands, and held them in his own. ''Remus, I... I think I love you.''

Remus stopped still, breath catching in his throat, heart beating loud enough for him to see in his chest. How often had he gone over this moment in his head? Over a hundred times. And not once had he been unable to speak. Sirius loved him. _Sirius loved him._

Gently, Sirius squeezed his hands, then let go of them.

''I'm sorry.'' Remus looked up at him slowly.

''Sorry for what?'' he asked softly, voice catching in the wind, following his tune.

''For...'' They looked at each other, and their eyes met, then their lips did. Sirius pulled away as soon as they made contact.

''I haven't told you, have I? I think I've loved you for ages. Ever since last year. And then, by the lake...'' He trailed off, as the tears finally broke free and trickled slowly down Remus's cheeks. ''What's wrong?''

Remus shivered slightly, not with cold, but with something else. Fear, again. Mixed with a third part that he couldn't identify.

''Nothing, it's...'' He couldn't continue, not when Sirius was reaching out to steal a tear from his cheek and press it against his cherry red lips. Not when he was pulling out a lacy hankerchief to wipe away the rest. But somewhere in the deepest part of him, he found a reserve of strength that could last him long enough for what he had to say.

''You've told me all these things, and I've felt them too. But I was scared. I still am. And then you said those words, those three words that I've wanted to say to you, and I want to say them back, but I _can't_! And it's killing me. I want to say it, but I'm too scared, Sirius. I'm too scared.'' He couldn't carry on any longer. He broke down completely, hiding his head in his hands.

Sirius took a deep breath, and pulled Remus close to him, cradling him in his chest.

''It's okay, love, it'll be okay.'' His pyjama top would have a damp patch, but that was okay. As long as he knew Remus was safe.

They both heard a splash on the lake's surface. Remus was shaking, but the tears were slowing. He didn't want to look up though. As long as he could be in Sirius's arms.

Eventually his breathing slowed, and he lay completely still. Sirius gave him a little nudge. He didn't respond. He was asleep.

Sirius's eyes drooped, and, resting his head on Remus's, he closed them. Within a minute, he was out of consiousness. The two of them lay like that, asleep in each others arms, and they knew they would be found in the morning, but that didn't matter. As long as they had each other. Then they would be happy.

**AN: Thanks for reading this. You know what's coming next, don't you?... **

**Please review!**


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